Welston’s annual Shrove Tuesday pancake race will return to the pier on the 17th, bringing with it a heady mix of civic pride, light exercise, and reckless batter-based optimism.

Relay teams of four will compete across three heats and a final. The winners will earn the honour of having their names engraved on Welston’s Golden Frying Pan Trophy and, more importantly, custody of it for the year.

The rules remain as unforgiving as ever. Each runner must toss their pancake twice before reaching the end of the pier, then complete a third toss to their waiting teammate. Any pancake dropped en route results in an immediate return to the start line, a fresh pancake being issued, and the entire length of the pier being re-run. No mercy. No appeals.

Last year’s champions, Team Bookish Barista—Susan Crow, Mina Goodacre, Sean Christie and Terry Rumsford—claimed victory amid much applause and one formal complaint. Maggie Browning of Sweet Old Days alleged that Work had been applied to the batter, allowing the pancakes to linger in the air longer than nature (and fairness) intended. Sadly, a full investigation proved impossible, as the remaining batter was promptly cooked and consumed by the accused, who cited hunger and “waste not, want not” in their defence.

This year, I’ll be serving as one of the race’s officiators and will personally taste-test each team’s pre-race pancakes. It’s a position of great responsibility, I know, but someone has to do it.